I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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