i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
