i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
it's great music for shaving your balls
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
