Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
