now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
