No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
