I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
