I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
