Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i don't like sucking hair
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize