Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
