I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
