at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
