He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
