Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
