dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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