you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
