I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
