I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize