sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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