At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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