Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.

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(845): View more from New York

Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'

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(512): View more from Texas

The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out

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