her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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