At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
