i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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