At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
