what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
