If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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