I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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