I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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