He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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