The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
