I just made out with a guy for $7.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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