it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
