We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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