Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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