Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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