im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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