Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
