apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
