I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
