is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
