her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
