I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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