I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize