I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
