Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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