If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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