3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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