The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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