remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
