Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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