Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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