the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
