and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
