do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
