You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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