I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
