Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
