Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I came so hard my ears popped.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
