I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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