I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
