Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
