We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
