If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
