Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
