so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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