i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
