I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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